Once more unto the breach, dear friends...

Yes, it's back to the virtual date-o-rama for me. Hooray!, I hear you cry as one. Quite possibly because you are only one. Well, Richard, I must ask you to contain your excitement for a little longer whilst I finalise my launch onto the poor unsuspecting buggers of cyberspace.

The Messiah returned from Shanghai in April and has headed back out there again for a few weeks. During his time back home, we slipped back into our routine of spending most of our time together on a purely platonic basis. He has expressed a wish for a wife and children and I, having been in sole possession of Grump for the last millennium, have done my utmost to talk him out of this lunacy. He's not to be deterred, despite the lamentable litany of Grump's hilarious escapades, so I have suggested he get looking. Whilst we spend all our time in each other's company, neither of us will meet anyone else, so, reluctantly, I must learn to share him, and he to share me.

My boss has recommended an internet site on which he claims to have had some success. This is a complete delusion. I know this because every story he has told me relates to women in various stages of madness. Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained, so I've signed up. I haven't actually handed over any money yet, but the first step has been taken and I have already acquired some admirers. Some of them are even under 60. I foresee humiliation, hilarity and an increased beer consumption. So not all bad then.